your-pal-lindsay: thesmoshfangirl: chinchillaghosts: wivernryder: chinchillaghosts: heyfunnie: why is bob short for robert how does one get ‘billy’ out of ‘william’? How in hell do you get “Dick” from “Richard”? you ask him nicely you ask him nicely i have been waiting for yEARS FOR THIS POST TO COME BACK YOU DONT UNDERSTAND
sfux: i feel like people who eat breakfast really have their lives together
rabioheab: earlier this year 2 boys got expelled from my school for going on a teachers email and sending another teacher an email that says “you’re a disgusting little man” and i laugh about it all the time because imagine opening an email from your coworker and thinking it’s important and then it says that
meladoodle: *doctor voice* you know what they say, laughter is the best medicine! *writes url on prescription paper* yeah check me out follow 4 follow :) sorry about the kidney failure btw though
daddyfuckedme: wouldn’t it be cool if jellyfish floated around in air instead of water but they didn’t sting you instead they gave you little kisses and rubbed your forehead with their tentacles
boy: shit baby you're so wet already
girl: that's actually just vaginal discharge and my body is cleansing itself from bacteria and dead cells to prevent infection and to maintain optimal reproductive health i'm not even all that turned on right now and i would prefer to go get some food or something
If you love TUMBLR, reblog this.
ohsaabby: The notes. You don’t belong here if you don’t reblog this. THE NOTES!
School: We don't allow bullying if you bully we will fuck you up
Student: I got bullied.
School: The fuck do you want us to do about it?
arnazingphil: imdonebye: hop-onmytardis: imdonebye: i’m skyping with a cute boy help ACT NATURAL I SACRIFICED HIM TO THE MAYAN GODS WAS THAT NATURAL ENOUGH that was super natural
66564) I'm faking recovery.
thats-slightly-raven: feistie: thats-slightly-raven: I JUST BURNT MY HAND ON MY LAMP TRYING TO TURN IT OFF LAMPS SHOULD NOT BE HOT ENOUGH TO GIVE YOU THIRD DEGREE BURNS THIS IS BULLSHIT. maybe if you’d go outside and used natural sunlight instead of running your lamp for 13 hours straight, this wouldn’t happen :) OH I’M SORRY IT’S 3:38AM LET ME JUST WAKE UP THE SUN SO I CAN SIT OUTSIDE...
my week isn’t complete without at least 3 mental breakdowns
hi hello if you’re reading this i hope something good happens to you today
satans-fabulous-blog: morphingly: brightredkettle: are you the SAT because i’d do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes with a ten minute break halfway through for snacks That’s the most reasonable pick up line I’ve ever heard. You’re hired.
davidisbeyonce: 13 going on 30 (pounds of chocolate)
sucha-fuckingmess: letterstogodptiii: tea-books-and-blankets: yaygocats: discomplete: “i want to wear shorts because it’s hot but i really hate my legs” an autobiography “I want to wear shorts but i didnt shave” the sequel. “I want to wear shorts but I don’t tan and I’d rather not blind you” The trilogy “I want to wear shorts but my huge dick always sticks out” a pop-up book “I...
Muggles are not able to REBLOG this.
the-nocturnal-fangirl: iamsherlockedcumberbiatch: helena-castor: all the notes. holy crap. at first the reblog button didn’t work for me, i was like FUCK FUCK FUCK but then it worked.lol. It worked immediately. I’M HARRY FREAKIN POTTER! Heheh<3 …looks like i got the magic in me. >:) HA! FINALLY! after the 73902356504600th try! ;) look @ me now. fuck yeaahhhhh first...
timelady-of-221b: genuinelylarry: what if tattoos just randomly appeared on our skin at key points in our lives and we had to figure out what they meant for ourselves I want a book
swingingstarsfromsatellites: morphingly: brightredkettle: are you the SAT because i’d do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes with a ten minute break halfway through for snacks
whatnycusedtobe: once i was having a sleepover and it was like three in the morning and my friend just says ‘what if there was a store just for food?’ then three minutes later she blurted out ‘grocery store’